


Rip me

by FanficLuver



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 14:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15390318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficLuver/pseuds/FanficLuver
Summary: These are the collective drabbles of a 16th company member, but also I'm 95% sure there was 8000% more cursing in these books.It was a company of 15 men, I'm pretty sure it was a lot more gross.Come on Tolkien.





	Rip me

Bilbo Baggins was a simple man, who enjoyed simple things, and a simple life. But when 12 dwarves thunder into his house and turn him into a doormat, he gets a bit more than mildly agitated. When Gandalf, usually a comforting and friendly face, brings in yet another visitor with him, Bilbo feels it’s time to share a few grievances. 

 

“Now Gandalf,” Bilbo said as more food was carried out of his pantry, “you know how I’m usually very civilized and such,” he frowned as one of his cheese wheels went by, “but honest to,” he wrung his hands out, “any gods there are, I ask you, what in the god rightful HELL is going on here.” He even stamped his little foot. “They’re eating all my food, muddying my house, and my poor mother's glory box! The state of it!” 

 

The hooded and masked stranger who came in with Gandalf snorted.

 

“Don’t you laugh at me,” Bilbo said sternly, looking quite like an upset groundhog.

 

The stranger put their hands up in a mock surrender and stepped back to lean against a wall. 

 

“Oh Bilbo,” Gandalf chuckled, pulling out his pipe, “Do take a breath before you pop.”

 

Bilbo floundered for a moment before simply throwing his hands in the air and stomping into the other room. 

 

Gandalf chuckled before turning to his guest. “Well, it sounds as if dinner is about ready, what do you say we have a bite, Hmm?” The guest simply nodded. “Yes, I’m quite famished myself.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr go tell me to write
> 
> teachingmyselftowrite.tumblr.com


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